Be Vulnerable

I'm one of the LAST people who should talk about vulnerability. I have the hardest time with the idea of sucking at something or not knowing what I'm doing or putting myself out there. I've definitely gotten better at it over the years, but let's just say that it's a continual growth.

A Story

So there's this girl. She knew she needed to exercise, her boyfriend was doing it {as was everyone else}, and she understood the benefits. So she decided she would sign up for a 1 credit course in college. This course was simple, you come to the tiny college gym at least 3 days a week, at least one hour per day. It was pass/fail. This was exactly what she needed to force herself out of her comfort zone. 
The idea of trying something new was terrifying and joyous at the same time. 
When the day came for her to start, she was nervous. What was she nervous about? Everything. She had no idea what she was doing or where to start.
She decided she would go at night when there were less people around. She also decided she would start with running. Her mom did some running off and on so at least she would have someone to talk to about it. Since she figured that out, all that was left to do was put on some clothes and go. Not so easy. She barely had any workout clothes to wear. She was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. With so few options, she started trying on all sorts of pants and shorts available and looking in the mirror. That's where she started to worry. 
What was she worried about? 
Her legs, how white she is, her butt. Yes, her butt. This girl was 105lbs and she was worried about her butt. What about her butt? She was concerned about it jiggling as she ran on the treadmill. Let me say that again. This girl was worried about her butt jiggling as she ran. I could not make this up. 
So what did she do about it? 
She kept trying on pants {to cover up her ugly white legs} to find the pair that best hid her butt. I kid you not, she was trying on a pair and then running in place in front of the mirror to test it. 
She settled on a pair of black {so she wouldn't stand out} track pants. You know, those pants that make that swish sound as you walk? Yea those. They hugged her body the least, concealing her butt jiggle, so they were the best pair for the job. 
This is ridiculous. This girl is 20 years old, 105lbs and worried about butt jiggle. 
She finally grabbed her large ipod classic {she was also worried about that} and she went to the tiny gym. The treadmills were positioned so your butts were facing out of the gym. She knew this. Which means she was worried about people who can't even see her butt jiggle. 
After that first night she was okay. Not better, it didn't happen overnight, but okay. She was happy that the 'first time' of it was over with. 
She kept on going to the gym at night with her track pants for a few weeks. Then she signed up for a midnight 5k. 
She came to the 5k wearing her black track pants. No one else was even wearing pants. She had no clue what she was doing and she was doing it alone. That night was a huge turning point for the girl. Why?
There was a woman. A quite large woman running the race. In front of her. Kicking her ass.
This woman was running the entire time, running slowly, but running. No walk breaks and she maintained a position in front of the girl the whole race. No matter how hard the girl tried, she could not get in front of the woman. It was the most inspiring thing. Here's this woman who obviously works hard, focuses on her work, and doesn't give a shit about anyone else. 
What a wake up call.
Seriously.
After that 5k, the image of that woman always in front of her and not caring about what others thought was burned into the girl's brain. The girl began to worry less about what she was wearing. Less and less as time went on. She also learned to love her butt jiggle. She even started to worry less and less about what her legs looked like. 
It's not that she suddenly had no worries, she can't live 100% up to the hakuna matata standards, but she has a new perspective on what she worries about.
This girl is always vulnerable when trying something new. She is very slowly learning to embrace it because almost every single time she tries something new with that gut wrenching vulnerability, she ends up liking whatever it is that she was worried about. 

End of Story

I'll give you a BIG hint. That girl was me. I've only told that story {in short form} to my parents AND I only told them like a week ago {this story took place over 4 years ago}. SO this is me opening up completely. Being as vulnerable as it gets and it feels. so. good. 
Ask me anything. If you're worried about something, all I ask is for you to try and take a different perspective on your worries.