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Be Vulnerable

10/19/2014

28 Comments

 
Little Big by Glady Anne Photography
I'm one of the LAST people who should talk about vulnerability. I have the hardest time with the idea of sucking at something or not knowing what I'm doing or putting myself out there. I've definitely gotten better at it over the years, but let's just say that it's a continual growth.

A Story

So there's this girl. She knew she needed to exercise, her boyfriend was doing it {as was everyone else}, and she understood the benefits. So she decided she would sign up for a 1 credit course in college. This course was simple, you come to the tiny college gym at least 3 days a week, at least one hour per day. It was pass/fail. This was exactly what she needed to force herself out of her comfort zone. 
The idea of trying something new was terrifying and joyous at the same time. 
When the day came for her to start, she was nervous. What was she nervous about? Everything. She had no idea what she was doing or where to start.
She decided she would go at night when there were less people around. She also decided she would start with running. Her mom did some running off and on so at least she would have someone to talk to about it. Since she figured that out, all that was left to do was put on some clothes and go. Not so easy. She barely had any workout clothes to wear. She was a jeans and t-shirt kind of girl. With so few options, she started trying on all sorts of pants and shorts available and looking in the mirror. That's where she started to worry. 
What was she worried about? 
Her legs, how white she is, her butt. Yes, her butt. This girl was 105lbs and she was worried about her butt. What about her butt? She was concerned about it jiggling as she ran on the treadmill. Let me say that again. This girl was worried about her butt jiggling as she ran. I could not make this up. 
So what did she do about it? 
She kept trying on pants {to cover up her ugly white legs} to find the pair that best hid her butt. I kid you not, she was trying on a pair and then running in place in front of the mirror to test it. 
She settled on a pair of black {so she wouldn't stand out} track pants. You know, those pants that make that swish sound as you walk? Yea those. They hugged her body the least, concealing her butt jiggle, so they were the best pair for the job. 
This is ridiculous. This girl is 20 years old, 105lbs and worried about butt jiggle. 
She finally grabbed her large ipod classic {she was also worried about that} and she went to the tiny gym. The treadmills were positioned so your butts were facing out of the gym. She knew this. Which means she was worried about people who can't even see her butt jiggle. 
After that first night she was okay. Not better, it didn't happen overnight, but okay. She was happy that the 'first time' of it was over with. 
She kept on going to the gym at night with her track pants for a few weeks. Then she signed up for a midnight 5k. 
She came to the 5k wearing her black track pants. No one else was even wearing pants. She had no clue what she was doing and she was doing it alone. That night was a huge turning point for the girl. Why?
There was a woman. A quite large woman running the race. In front of her. Kicking her ass.
This woman was running the entire time, running slowly, but running. No walk breaks and she maintained a position in front of the girl the whole race. No matter how hard the girl tried, she could not get in front of the woman. It was the most inspiring thing. Here's this woman who obviously works hard, focuses on her work, and doesn't give a shit about anyone else. 
What a wake up call.
Seriously.
After that 5k, the image of that woman always in front of her and not caring about what others thought was burned into the girl's brain. The girl began to worry less about what she was wearing. Less and less as time went on. She also learned to love her butt jiggle. She even started to worry less and less about what her legs looked like. 
It's not that she suddenly had no worries, she can't live 100% up to the hakuna matata standards, but she has a new perspective on what she worries about.
This girl is always vulnerable when trying something new. She is very slowly learning to embrace it because almost every single time she tries something new with that gut wrenching vulnerability, she ends up liking whatever it is that she was worried about. 

End of Story

I'll give you a BIG hint. That girl was me. I've only told that story {in short form} to my parents AND I only told them like a week ago {this story took place over 4 years ago}. SO this is me opening up completely. Being as vulnerable as it gets and it feels. so. good. 
Ask me anything. If you're worried about something, all I ask is for you to try and take a different perspective on your worries. 
28 Comments
Jennifer Pennington link
10/19/2014 04:59:33

This was a fabulous story, honey! Thank you for sharing the strength in your vulnerability!

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Glady
10/19/2014 05:06:12

Thank you so much for stopping by and reading it. This sharing of vulnerable moments is definitely a healing moment for us all I think.

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Alex link
10/19/2014 05:17:04

I think it's so amazing that you shared this, because it's so open and honest and THIS is what people deal with every day! I know that someone is going to read this post and feel INSPIRED to let go of their worries, and embrace a new care-free approach to whatever goal it is that they are trying to accomplish. LOVE IT! :D

Reply
Glady
10/19/2014 07:09:01

Thank you SO much for challenging me to do so! I didn't give myself a chance to think about it, I knew that if this was going to work I had to be raw. So I just wrote it as it came.

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Lianne Antonette Stewart link
10/20/2014 13:16:21

Preach i am the slow skinny girl with a bionic thick friend always outrunning me.

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Tiesha link
10/19/2014 05:18:41

Wow that was really touching. Thanks for opening up. Nice post!

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Glady
10/19/2014 07:07:44

Thank you!

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Dana Buchmiller link
10/19/2014 07:05:23

What a wonderful story! It really touched me. Today I was really struggling with my body image, and this reminded me that it doesn't matter what others think of me. It matters that I reach for my goals, fearlessly, and live life to the fullest. Thank you so much for sharing, Glady!

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Glady
10/19/2014 07:07:19

Thank you so much for reading it! I'm happy that my story helped. That's all I can hope for!

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Tara Woodruff link
10/19/2014 07:18:56

This story Hit home because recently I have discovered that I do not see myself correctly, or as i really am. I can not trust the Mirror. When I left my job about 3 years or so ago, I thought I was soo fat and ugly that there would have been out of the question to even entertain romance or relationships. I saw a Hideous person. Now I certainly wasn't fit BUT as I look back at pictures and video of myself then, I see someone WAY more fit and Way Less pounds than I am now. I noticed this trend trough out my life. Every time I 'thought' I was fat,when in fact, I Just wasn't skinny ... Now Time to Recognize the Beauty and power we have 'as is' so we do of waste precious time Hating on ourselves. Your Story Hit Home! Thank you!

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Glady
10/19/2014 07:22:04

I'm so happy you read it and it hit home for you. We really do see a different version of ourselves. We are our own worst enemy. We get in our own way of success and we bully ourselves. It's the hardest thing to overcome and it's never gone away completely.

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Katherine Beeks link
10/19/2014 07:47:18

Wow. This hits home for me..to this day I refuse to exercise in front of others. This challenge is beginning to heal a lot of people I think. xx

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Glady
10/19/2014 07:49:41

Sure is, we've got one giant healing circle going on today!!

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Jeana link
10/19/2014 07:58:59

I love it! It is hard to do something new and especially if it goes against all of your comfort zone!! I am a big woman and EVERYTHING jiggles haha. I actually tried out insanity ( age 30) with my nephew (age 19) The jumping jacks was the deal breaker because my tummy would make a clapping noise OMG yes I was horrified. Because it held me back i'd just jog in place. I needed to let go and just do my best. Love your story!!

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Teffareusss link
10/19/2014 08:10:10

OMG I LOVE THIS!definitely on my list to follow

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Christina link
10/19/2014 08:20:16

Thanks for opening up and sharing! So many people struggle with things like that. I'm glad you pushed through it!

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Tracee link
10/19/2014 08:43:43

can I just copy and past your story..lol...but really..i have yet to write my post and you bring all the reasons I have yet to do so...great job..

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Chelsea Green link
10/19/2014 12:12:18

Thanks for opening up. It is so hard to feel comfortable enough to do that. This is something we all go through and most of us never get over body issues. I know I am self conscious about it! www.thegreengiftcompany.com/blog

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Christina link
10/19/2014 12:44:16

Thank you for opening up & sharing this inspiring story. As a former dancer, I completely understand anxiety about body image and even exercising as well. Its so tough sometimes to try new things when we're unsure about what's on the other end of it. Its so great that you were able to overcome it & succeed! Love this!! Great post :)
~Christina
http://thedancegrad.com/dealing-with-social-anxiety/

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Shayan Naveed link
10/19/2014 16:20:27

What an inspirational story indeed. It's very easy to be self conscious for the littlest things and totally natural too. Glad you were able to overcome it.
For me it is similar in the way that I won't ever wear shorts to the gym simply because I am a very hairy guy hahah

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Victoria James
10/19/2014 20:54:15

I loved reading this story - it is me right now! (Apart from the age and lb's) I find it SO hard even walking through the door of the gym. In fact, I'm sat here trying to think of my vulnerable post so I can procrastinate going to the gym today . . . thank you for sharing xo

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Nadia link
10/19/2014 22:31:57

Yay! For Glady :-) what a wonderful story. So very happy you realize your potential and the power of trying something new. Just wonderful.

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Golda link
10/20/2014 10:49:31

Thank you for sharing. You were so open and honest and funny. "your jiggly but" I am so happy it worked out all for you for trying something new :)

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Tanya Patxot link
10/20/2014 13:23:29

OMG that was so MMEEEE hahah I had such pale legs and never wore shorts O man this is the first time I heard anyone like me. #feelgoodbloggingchallenge

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Shannon
10/20/2014 14:27:03

Amazing how these feelings show up on people you would never guess. I was never fat till I hit late 40's. Sad thing I look back at pictures and wish I was skinny like that again. So many years go by and cause pain. Thanks for this :-)

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Nicolette van der Merwe link
10/22/2014 08:36:59

Well done on trying something new. I was a big girl, scared of exercies, but once I started and I saw the changes my body was going through I was hooked. Trying something new, even when you're scared and you really don't want to, can be the most life-changing experience. Thank you for sharing your story.

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Ursula Krause link
11/12/2014 07:37:28

I was so intrigued by this story. Before i started working out I felt the exact same way. I was 108lbs and hated my butt/legs jiggle so much! I can so relate. Great story!!!

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Mimi link
7/8/2015 03:41:59

What a beautiful post! Thank you for opening up and being vulnerable with us, your audience. That was very brave.

We all have our vulnerabilities and saying them out loud can be hard. I'm so glad you were able to push past that. I feel so inspired!

Reply



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    Hello! I'm Glady and I'm dedicated to working it from head to toe, inside & out. Check my About page.

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