Are you too hard on yourself?
I'm going to be honest with you, being hard on myself is a strength and weakness of mine. Mainly a weakness. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar to you:
The list could likely go on. I know that I can't be the only one. Here's something I tried recently. I told someone else that I was good at something. {I know I'm being a bit vague, but I can't exactly talk about the details of my job}.
At my job, I felt that the only way I was worth anything is if somebody else told me that I was good at something. I always felt like this, in all areas of my life. I shouldn't need someone else to validate who I am and what I'm good at. I should know that for myself. So I shut out the noise during meditation one day and let myself tell me what I was good at. Then I made those claims public. I told people at work. Then I would put confidence behind my words and answers. In the photo business part of my life, I often get asked, "So are you a photographer?" and I started saying "Yes." Nothing vague about it. I am what I am, I'm not stuck in between anymore and giving so-so and sort of answers. "Do you run?" "Yes, I'm a runner." You can see how this can apply in other areas.
You can't imagine the difference this has made in my life and the way I see myself.
By no means have I gotten "rid" of that self-criticizing, all-too-hard-on-myself, perfectionist, but I did learn to recognize it and I've started to work on it. In small bits.
I dare you to try it. Tell someone what you're good at. Something that you usually wait for others to tell you. Tell them instead. Beat 'em to it. Claim it. Own it.
Deep down you know what you're good at. You don't need anyone else to tell you. Value yourself.
Because you all know I love my resources, a couple links related to the topic:
I'm going to be honest with you, being hard on myself is a strength and weakness of mine. Mainly a weakness. Tell me if any of this sounds familiar to you:
- aiming for perfection when you're a beginner
- comparing yourself to someone who has years of experience
- putting your value below others
The list could likely go on. I know that I can't be the only one. Here's something I tried recently. I told someone else that I was good at something. {I know I'm being a bit vague, but I can't exactly talk about the details of my job}.
At my job, I felt that the only way I was worth anything is if somebody else told me that I was good at something. I always felt like this, in all areas of my life. I shouldn't need someone else to validate who I am and what I'm good at. I should know that for myself. So I shut out the noise during meditation one day and let myself tell me what I was good at. Then I made those claims public. I told people at work. Then I would put confidence behind my words and answers. In the photo business part of my life, I often get asked, "So are you a photographer?" and I started saying "Yes." Nothing vague about it. I am what I am, I'm not stuck in between anymore and giving so-so and sort of answers. "Do you run?" "Yes, I'm a runner." You can see how this can apply in other areas.
You can't imagine the difference this has made in my life and the way I see myself.
By no means have I gotten "rid" of that self-criticizing, all-too-hard-on-myself, perfectionist, but I did learn to recognize it and I've started to work on it. In small bits.
I dare you to try it. Tell someone what you're good at. Something that you usually wait for others to tell you. Tell them instead. Beat 'em to it. Claim it. Own it.
Deep down you know what you're good at. You don't need anyone else to tell you. Value yourself.
Because you all know I love my resources, a couple links related to the topic: